Gracious Speech

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” ESV Ephesians 4:29

Winston Churchill was truly a one-of-a-kind. While I know nothing of his religious persuasions, he was most assuredly an extraordinary leader that England desperately needed at the time. Churchill also possessed the skills of an orator and is perhaps one of the most often quoted political figures of our time.

History records an adversarial and barbed relationship that Churchill had with Lady Astor; the first female member of Parliament. As the saying goes, there was “no love lost” between Churchill and Lady Astor. Here’s one of their most famous exchanges:

Astor: “If you were my husband, I’d put arsenic in your coffee.”
Churchill: “Madam, if I were your husband, I’d drink it!”

Ouch! With friends like that…

It’s easy to chuckle at the exchange. But I confess that far too often I find myself on the giving end of a sharp comment made in haste without enough thought. Clearly, such comments are not scriptural; ‘not scriptural’ being the politically correct verbiage for ‘sinful.’

Look with me at what Paul is saying in Ephesians. Paul begins by telling them that they should avoid corrupting or unwholesome speech. Just a few verses earlier Paul had told them to speak only truth; nothing new here right? We’ve all been taught that we should tell the truth.

But now look closely at the text and see how we are to tell the truth. Paul puts three more conditions on our speech. First, the truth that we speak should be good for building up. In other words, we are not to use factual statements for the wrong reasons; to tear down another person. Secondly, we are to temper our words to fit the occasion we find ourselves in. Finally, we are to speak so that the recipient our words will perceive them as gracious. Think how the world might change if we all followed these rules!

Martyn Lloyd-Jones says that it is obvious from our text that Christians are commanded to always keep their conversations under control. Says Lloyd-Jones: “The Christian’s tongue should never be out of control. We must never become so excited that we are really not responsible for what we are saying.”

A friend called me this past week and offered me some personally uplifting and encouraging words. The words were timely, much needed and most appreciated. As I thought about his call, this passage in Ephesians came to mind. And as I reflected on the caller’s way of life, I came to realize that he lives out what Paul commands here in Ephesians. And I can assure you, that friends like that are good to have.

In our rushed, stressed, and impersonal world, it is more important than ever that we take Paul’s words to heart and put them into practice. Sometime today, whether in casual conversation or perhaps in an email, make an extra effort to choose your words carefully so that the recipient perceives them as gracious.